The Fifty Ridiculous Things I Did Postpartum

On this, my second voyage into motherhood, what I’ve learned so far is that I haven’t learned very much. This blog comprises my dispatches on the mistakes I’ve made, this time and last, in this strange and sleepless world: one a day for each of the first six sleep-deprived weeks.

Here’s the master list, like a little advent calendar of my own ridiculousness.  Know me? Know some other ridiculous thing I did? Submissions for inclusion are welcome!

    1. Mistaking myself for Mary Berry
    2. Attempting to walk home from the maternity hospital
    3. Bantering with reporters
    4. Getting experimental with multi-storey car parking
    5. Eluding the baby transportation police
    6. Not eluding the baby transportation police
    7. Using a tree as a breastfeeding aid
    8. Committing fraud by forgetting my own name
    9. Alarming the 111 operator
    10. Dieting
    11. Selling all my clothes…
    12. … and hating on my neighbour
    13. Mistaking myself for Neil Gaiman
    14. Laundry
    15. Practicing car seat exceptionalism
    16. Wreaking havoc among the Quakers
    17. “Stimulating activities”
    18. Wearing eyeliner/not wearing eyeliner
    19. Alarming other parents at baby groups
    20. Mistaking myself for my daughter’s mother
    21. – 40. The Next 20 Fails

41. Telepathy
42. Crashing my relationship into a wall
43. Vacillating about vaccinating
4. Getting blasé
45. Dropping the baby
46. Wanting what I didn’t get

Still to come:

  1. Mistaking myself for Kirstie Allsopp
  2. Bargaining with my toddler
  3. Wishing my boyfriend back to work
  4. Getting broody
The Fifty Ridiculous Things I Did Postpartum

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